Accidental Death

There are two nice bachelor brothers who live with their mother, Jim and Bob. A business trip took Bob out of town for a few days but he promised to call home on a regular basis to find out how things are going.

As good as his word, Bob called home the next day and Jim answered the phone. Bob asked, "So how's everything going?"

Jim replied, "The cat's dead. He fell out the window."

Bob was furious at the way his brother responded to his question and told him the bad news in such a callous manner. He told Jim his feelings in no uncertain terms.

Jim asked, "So how would you have liked me to respond?"Bob went on, "First you could have told me that you accidentally left the window open. Then the cat jumped out of the window and landed on the small roof below. We called the emergency response team, who tried for nearly and hour to coax the cat back into the house all the while trying to reach him by ladder from the outside. In spite of everyone's efforts, the cat lost his footing fell off the roof and died from his injuries."

Jim responded, "Oh. I see..."

Bob then asked Jim, "So how's Mom?"

Jim said, "Well, I accidentally left the window open and the cat got out. Mom went out the window onto the small roof to try to get the cat."

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Cause Of Death

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea.

Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."

Replied the widow, "Yes, I know that he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit that he really was."